i got back my results...
its was like Es...
total 46 points...
have nowhere to go but the rubbish chute...
my life is such a failure...
thx to me my class average dropped...
no thx to me my class got top...
1s03 is behind by like decimals...
so now i feel damn bad...
its like i am the stupidest kid in the world...
just not born for studies i guess...
i feel super shitty...
but what can i do when i am not born for studies...
its just not my things...
all i can think about is fail...
fail in life...
fail in studies...
fail in sports...
fail in shooting...
fail in EVERYTHING!!!
seriously man i just wished i could have better grades...
be smarter...
be more of the type that can study...
and do sports...
but i just cant...
guess my life is worthless...
like rubbish in the rubbish dump...
there for no reason but to stink the world...
is life unfair to me?
or is it i am just being unfair to life?
sometimes i really wonder...
life...
do i star in it...
or am i the joker in it...
fate...
is it playing me???
or am i manipulating it???
death...
is it a solution???
or is it an neverending problem???
I want to live longer...


damn mid year results were out...
eng:e
chi:e
chem:e
math:e
omg la i think i die already this kind of result how to survive how to go uni...
i should just die or go become rubbish le la...
I want to live longer...


2day its my dad birthday...
so we went to have buffet...
its at a restaurant in hotel mirama...
named ikoi japanese restaurant...
so ya when i went in it was like small...
then we sat at the counter...
suddenly my phone vibrate...
it was a call from vanessa?...
then she said look to ur left...
then i look to my right...
then my left...
then i saw her...
omg...
then i just said hi then i hang up...
contine to eat with my parents...
keep asking for sake but parents say no u drink to much...
so i ate alot of stuff...
the person sitting beside my dad was like older than him but he got a gf younger than like him by like alot...
then the person that sat next to me was like rich...
relative all around the globe...
okay...
so i ate and ate and ate...
then i left at 9 plus...
here is how i spend my father day+dad birthday without alcohol...
now i wish there was like a cup of wine or something...
oh theres a bottle of gin in the kitchen...
yay!!!...
drink till my sorrow is gone...
I want to live longer...


okay so i am having a boring day...
nth to do except holiday homework...
and i am avoiding them like the plague...
so now i am having potato chips and coke for lunch...
well its like unhealthy...
but who cares its the holidays...
well not for long then...
I want to live longer...


so i still feel sick...
yesterday was the farewell party and i wasnt well...
so i missed it...
so now i have to stay at home and wish for good health...
damn...
I want to live longer...


okay so yesterday was my first fortnight shoot...
i got like 496/600...
guess thats super low...
after that i left early to go seoul garden and eat with jw they all...
later went to pc show with pig and bion...
i wan a new laptop!!!
but my dad says no...
he says...
ur laptop still can use so dun change...
my laptop is 3 years old...
and weights like a gilzillion tons...
how can it still considered to be a laptop...
I want to live longer...


okay so today i stayed at home the whole day...
watching a hk drama about snooker...
2moro i am getting my first fortnight shoot...
excited but i know i cant beat 516...
now i just wish i can get at least at least 480-500 ba...
guess i wun have any love life in my schooling years after wat someone has said some years back...
I want to live longer...


okay so yesterday i was sick...
so naturally i went to the polyclinic and i got cured rite?
wrong!!! in fact i got more sick...
went there with bloaty stomach and came back with flu too...
thats so efficient...
the 2 hour wait is so not killing the little boy who is puking...
then 2day i still got CIP...
well it wasnt that bad...if i wasnt sick...
so now i just came online to check my email and i shall contine to sleep again...
byebye...
I want to live longer...


hey all now is holiday...
but to me it isnt...yet...
i have cca and all the extra lessons everyday...
and now still got pee dub ble u taking up my weekends...
therefore now i feel super tired and sad la...
y must jc like give me so many thing...
why must i be so stupid to fail everything...
its like i am build to die...
and today i saw something on my cbox...
its a tag by...my sec sch fren vanessa...wee?...
well guess i really lose touch with all my sec sch fren...
all thx to my hectic jc life...
think i gotta chat with them the whole time this holi...
so u all wan to know wat i am doing for pw?
its conservation of grandparent and grand child ties...
omg la i suggested that as a joke and now i am doing it...
karma...
so i think its super hard now cos the case study lesson learnt and all...
but ya now the onli thing on my mind is to chat with my sec sch frens...
so ya once u all see this post pls chat with me on msn ya?
I want to live longer...